Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A Self-Deprecating Disclaimer:

Hoping to answer as many questions before they are asked (my own questions as well as yours, reader), I felt it would be beneficial to state my intentions as clearly as possible from the get. That way, when I disappoint both myself and my audience (as I inevitably will), at least we’ll all know why. So here goes:

This is not going to be a complete list, bottom to top. In the interest of doing the albums a little more justice (and not boring you with a four page list that, while comprehensive, explains very little), it will be segmented and brought to you in six parts over the course of the next few days. Based on vague sonic similarities, and a pretty loose defining of boundaries, the albums will be divided into five main categories: Electronic, Hip-Hop, Rock A (Alt. Rock, Indie Rock, Math Rock etc.), Rock B (Punk, Prog., Metal, etc.) and the Miscellaneous or Other Category which will contain all the leftovers that don’t fit into the previous 4 categories such as Jazz, World, Post-Rock and the more eclectic and cerebral indie releases. The close reader might be wondering to themselves right about now, why do five categories require six segments? Before you think you’ve caught me in anything, the sixth and final installment will be devoted to the top 1% of albums. Transcending the previous five categories (yet representing all of them), these are the albums that’d I’d most likely save if my all my records from the last ten years were to suddenly and spontaneously combust.

It is important to note that there are limitless ways of defining what ‘The Best’ is, and ultimately this is an exercise in subjectivity (and perhaps futility). But what these albums have done more than the rest is they’ve given us a reason to keep them around or to keep coming back, whatever that reason may be. Not just flash in the pan, one hit wonders. This list represents artists that say “I am” when most are saying “me too”. The vast majority of albums on this list represent the best works from the best artists (over 80% of which had multiple eligible releases) in what was surely the most prolific decade for the recording industry since the invention of audio recording technology. But all this progress has led to the dilution and pollution of the talent pool. If the talent pool of early 21st century music were the gene pool of an organism, any offspring would be infertile and maladapted for survival in any environment. Kids today with their Dan Fogelberg, Zima, Hula-Hoops and Pac Man video games; it's not hard to see why people today have attention spans that can only be measured in nano seconds.

That's why, as an extra incentive: anyone who can correctly deduce the titles in the top percentile from their absence in the first five segments, before they are named on the last day, will win a super secret Mystery Prize (which may or may not be all the albums on the list in a gorgeous, hand-crafted box-set). So keep reading and send your guesses to: bendmyemail@gmail.com. There is no limit to how many times you can try, only to how many times you can win! (you can only win once.)

Tune in tomorrow, you shan’t not regret it!

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